My cassette of despair 📼 💿 ᯓ★

I could recognise you from miles away. Even in the dark , desolate night that was incarcerated with a sense of heavy hopelessness , you were the sun.

My train of thoughts would immediately get lost on the tip of my tongue whenever you were near , as if the inked words of a book came to life and floated into the abyss of nothingness , leaving the pages blank. So , I recorded my plethora of unspoken feelings in a cassette. It expressed a myriad of everything i had ever wanted to say to you . The way every corner of my mind was seized by you , the way your brown orbs shined like pools of honey , the way your eyes crinkled when laughter danced on your lips , the way you would make every withering and dying flower in my garden bloom again , the way you were all my favourite songs combined , the way you would talk about death with the most enigmatic tone and make it sound like the most exquisite thing to ever exist , the way i would beg death to take me too if it ever came knocking on your door and if it said it is not my time yet i would look at it in the eye and threaten all the spheres it  knew , i would decompose into dust but never let it take you without taking me too because there was not a single place in this world where i would want to exist without you . You made the resisting urge to end life go away. You weren’t just a person i knew , you became half of my being. The cassette had it all.

But it was merely a fantasy, a dream i was living in and if you dream for too long , one way or another reality reminds you that it does not like to be insulted. You disappeared with leaving no trace of your ethos behind and became a fragment of my memories and perhaps , reality made you not exist and perhaps i was okay with that, but that cassette remained a gruelling reminder of your soul and a broken cue of the fact that maybe i was not really okay after all.

                           — prachi dhawan